The Supporter’s Role

The Support Line

Living with someone with psoriasis can be stressful. My father has suffered with psoriasis for years. He inherited it from his mother. One specific memory I have of his years of dealing with this disease was my mother’s reaction when he had a flare-up.

I recall my mother complaining on a daily basis because she had to change and wash the sheets daily due to the “flaking” skin that was in the bed each morning. My father would roll his eyes, but I could see the pain that was caused by her insensitivity. My mother is not a mean person, but she did not know how to support my father. She did not even realize that her remarks hurt him.

Being the support system of someone who is sick can become stressful at times. You are witness to the suffering of someone you care about. You may even inadvertently say or do something that is hurtful or insensitive. It doesn’t have to be a stressful time; there are ways that you can help and be supportive of the person who is suffering.

What You Can Do

First, you should learn as much as you can about psoriasis. It can at times be very painful or uncomfortable. Keep in mind that the person with psoriasis is suffering not only physically but emotionally as well.

Next, don’t be skittish about psoriasis. It is not pleasant to look at and the person who has psoriasis knows this. Be empathetic to what the patient may be feeling before you say anything that may hurt his or her feelings. Also, keep in mind there is no way you can contract psoriasis - it is not a communicable disease.

Make sure that you listen. The patient may need someone to talk to about what they are going through.  Listen to what they have to say and validate these feelings. Don’t brush it off as “so and so” is complaining again. Chances are the complaints are legitimate.

Finally, don’t forget about you. You may find at times that you are stressed by the condition as well. Find someone you can talk to. Try not to vent your frustration to the patient because it will only increase his or her feelings of guilt. Find a neutral party or join a support group.